“Mommy, do I really need to fall in love when I grow up?”
“Aehm, no, not really, but it will happen sooner or later.”
“I will never ever fall in love.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’m not into boys.”
“Maybe you’ll change your mind.”
“No! But, oh, this is a problem!” – she looks alarmed.
“Because that way I’ll never marry. And people must marry!”
“That’s not true. You can be with someone without marrying him, you can have children without being married, you can be on you own, you can live with a friend or a cat, you can do whatever you want.”
“With a cat?”
“Or a dog, or a goldfish. Whatever makes you happy.”
“Can I have a daughter without being married?”
“I want a daughter. I want to call her Lily.”
“Are we sure will tell me I must marry?”
“No, maybe you’ll want to stay with your daughters’ dad.”
“Yuck! I’d rather have the cat.”
I think about how lucky I am for living in a present where the idea of family is so flexible, and you don’t have to tell your daughter she must find the man if her dreams and she must marry in order to be happy in life. This is probably what happened since few decades ago. I want to teach her that the most important thing is do what makes her happy, no matter if that is matching the stereotype of the perfect family or not.
The more I look at happy people, the more I realize that happiness is tailor made. There are no recipes, no directions.
And the more I look around, the more I read posts like this, the more I convince myself that conventional life has never made a good parent. It’s the heart that makes the difference. The most important thing for a child is being brought up by someone who loves him and loves himself, so can teach a true and absolute love.