So, here’s a few reasons why, if you have a kid, a hangover is a bad idea:
1. Babies/kids don’t respect hangovers
Absolutely not. They won’t get you are as alive as a cat after a walk on the highway. They want you up and running and they want it NOW. When you are childfree hangover still sucks but at least you know that your colleagues can relate to that – especially the one who’s still dressed as she was the night before. When you have a kid he has no idea of how you might feel – which is a good thing, but when you are hangover is so damn hard even to look like a normal person. Imagine how hard it is to look like the bright and bubbly mum, yeah honey let’s play!
2. Kids speak very openly. Too openly.
“You don’t look very pretty today.”
Variations: mum, what have you done to your hair?/mum, you have a stinky breath!/mum, you look like Spongebob today
3. Kids want you to rise and shine while you just want to use the toilet and pass away again.
Possibly until luchtime. Can you imagine? You have a hangover and BY LUNCHTIME you’ll have already been up for more than 5 hours. Is that even legal?
4. Kids wake you up so gently…
Around 7am (if you’re lucky) while your liver is still trying to figure out how to survive and your whole body makes a creepy underwater noise everytime you move, your lovely child will jump on you. Repeatedly. Hitting everytime a different soft spot of your body with a hard spot of his body. You know: knee in the stomach, finger in the eye, elbow in the throat. Maybe, at the same time, they’ll feel the need to scream your name and other things you won’t really understand. So graceful, indeed.
5. Kids+hangover are the proof that you’re not 20 anymore
And that’s the saddest thing, isn’t it?